Boring Stories × Jessie

Ford-first. Your queue.

Two Ford rooftops this week. Verified emails. The same shape every time. Send five a day, BCC me. That is the whole job this week.

Jessie JuarezAugust 22, 2026Jason
0 of 6 done
  1. 01
    Read the two send letters

    They are the packet. Tor, then Paul. Dave is in the packet labeled do not send. Rooftop hole first. One number. Search, ninety days. Do not mash the website offer into these.

  2. 02
    Get sending working

    Cold mail leaves from boringstoriescreative.com, not boringstories.io. If you do not have send-as on that domain yet, tell me and I will add it. Cap is five a day. BCC jason@boringstories.io on every one. Footer stays on every one. If someone says stop, tell me the same day.

  3. 03
    Send Tor, then Paul

    In that order. Tor is the owner in Norco. Paul ran internet at Raceway before he ran the store. Do not send Dave. Do not add a third name until these two are out.

    This week
  4. 04
    After you send, log it

    Date, who, which email. I will show you the row in outreach-master. Until Boring OS has the deals, that sheet is the queue.

  5. 05
    Thursday

    Friday is out. If Thursday works, say so. If it doesn't, pick another hour next week. I will come to you.

  6. 06
    When one of them says yes

    Do not quote lease-to-own. Do not say we never mark up the buy. You already have the Ford footage. Pull it once we have a signed rooftop, not before.

The letters

Two to send. One on hold. Copy, paste, send. Footer is already on them. From address is jason@boringstoriescreative.com until your send-as is live. Then swap the name, keep the domain.

01 · Send · Hemborg Ford · Norco

Tor Hemborg, owner

torhemborg@hemborgford.com · subject: family owned, footer badge

Tor, If someone in Norco asks Google or ChatGPT who the family Ford store is, they get a footer badge. Family owned since 1983. The About page is hours, a map, and "your new Ford dealership." No founder. No picture of the family. The average store spends $10,308 a month on search. That's NADA 2025. Fritts Ford in Riverside has a headline on the homepage. You have a badge. You show up when a Norco buyer asks. Ninety days to start. Want what I found? Jason Portillo Boring Stories 1207 E Almond Ave, Orange, CA 92866 This is an advertisement for my services. If you'd rather I didn't write again, say so and I won't.
02 · Send · Raceway Ford · Riverside

Paul Cole, GM

paul@racewayford.com · subject: racewayford.com, blocked

Paul, If a crawler tries to open racewayford.com, it gets blocked. You ran the internet desk at Raceway before you ran the store. That wall is what they see instead of the Ford store you've had since 1988. The average store spends $10,308 a month on search. That's NADA 2025. Fritts, same city, the site loads. You show up when someone in Riverside asks. Ninety days to start. Want what I found? Jason Portillo Boring Stories 1207 E Almond Ave, Orange, CA 92866 This is an advertisement for my services. If you'd rather I didn't write again, say so and I won't.
Hold · Theodore Robins Ford · Costa Mesa

Dave Robins, owner / GM

daverobins@robinsford.com · subject: Harbor Blvd Ford, inventory page

Do not send · suppression

Do not send. Daniel already touched this rooftop. Suppression first.

Dave, If someone in Costa Mesa asks Google or ChatGPT who to buy a Ford from on Harbor, they land on an inventory page. No headline. Four generations since 1921 are on /history/. The homepage title still has DealerRater glued to it. The average store spends $10,308 a month on search. That's NADA 2025. You show up when a Costa Mesa buyer asks. Ninety days to start. Want what I found? Jason Portillo Boring Stories 1207 E Almond Ave, Orange, CA 92866 This is an advertisement for my services. If you'd rather I didn't write again, say so and I won't.

How we write these

Wedge for that store. Not a video letter. Not a website letter.

Their hole first, from the audit. Then the industry number. Then the help. Then a reply ask.

The number: NADA 2025, $10,308 a month on search, the average store. Never "you spend." Never a second figure.

The help: they show up when a buyer in that city asks. Ninety days to start. Do not promise they will rank best. We do not have that guarantee.

Do not mention ExtraVision. Do not mention a portal. Do not say we never mark up the buy. Do not offer lease-to-own. Do not mash the website $5k into this letter. Do not put a price in the letter.

Thursday's hang, checkable: action items.

JasonBoring Stories